You Might As Well Spend That $600 Stimulus Check On Weed

Congress has finally decided that the American people deserve some cash to help pull them from the slums of the pandemic. But federal lawmakers seem to have lost touch with what it’s like to try to pay bills, raise a family and otherwise keep from sleeping in a cardboard box before New Year’s. The second coronavirus relief payment is only $600. That’s just half of the $1200 that most tax paying citizens received earlier this year when the whole Rona debacle began.

Many people have complained that Washington’s measly offering does little to nothing to help them recover from the whirling downtrodden that has left them jobless and broke until who knows when. Some are so insulted by the gesture that they want Congress to keep the money.

So what should you do with this chump change?

Most Americans have been waiting on bended knee for this stimulus cash to help pay for things like rent, mortgages, utilities and even holiday gifts. But considering that the average mortgage payment in the United States is roughly $1,300, that relief money isn’t going to do much to keep a roof over people’s heads. Even the average rent for a family is close to $800, so the stimulus is not even enough to keep the landlord from beating down the door at the first of the month. And considering that $600 is only enough to roughly cover one month of utilities and maybe a large pizza, perhaps the best way to spend Uncle Sam’s sympathy money is to blow it on weed.

Yep, we said it.

While some Twitter posts suggest spending the money on a new gaming console to keep your mind off the impending doom of your bank account, we believe that using it to stock up on marijuana is a better move. And depending on which part of the nation a person resides in, $600 is just enough to purchase around two ounces of quality herb.

Now, while it might sound like a waste of money to some — we suppose you could always buy food with it or pay a credit card bill — stocking up on marijuana isn’t as irresponsible as some might think. On the contrary, it might be the smartest way to go right now. After all, it was the Dali Lama who said, “with all of the uncertainty in the world, staying high is all you can do.” Or maybe that was Steve from accounting.

3 Popular Ways To Consume Marijuana Flower
Photo by Instants/Getty Images

All we know is having plenty of marijuana on hand can ease the turmoil of the pandemic. Americans are already proving that. A new report shows the nation spent nearly 70 percent more on weed in 2020 than in previous years. Some did it because the quest for the perpetual buzz was better than sitting on the couch all day freaking out about being unemployed. Others went the direction of the doobie, presumably, because marijuana combats anxiety and depression.

RELATED: Doctor’s Advice On Using Marijuana To Treat Anxiety And Depression

And if there was something that every American citizen experienced this year at some juncture, it was that. But having weed probably helped. Research shows that roughly 90 percent of people who smoke weed experience less anxiety and depression. So the odds are in favor of feeling better when there’s bud in the house.

Listen, we’re not trying to tell you to disregard your responsibilities and just toke up and hope for the best. But since that $600 isn’t going to do much to change anyone’s financial position, better to use it to unwind and escape the tragedies surrounding us. You can’t repair a sinking cruise ship with a stick of gum.

RELATED: Kentucky Governor Urges Lawmakers To Legalize Marijuana

Fortunately, there is a chance that more money is coming. President Trump delivered a speech via video on Tuesday calling for Congress to increase the stimulus check amount from $600 to $2000. That’s what Democrats were pushing for all along, but Republicans, namely Senator Mitch McConnell, just weren’t going for it. It means Trump might not sign the latest relief effort (tucked inside a government spending bill) until they are willing to hash out a plan that will actually help Americans. One thing is sure, it’s either high time for relief or simply time to get high.

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